If I Love Something: My Philosophy of Non-Attachment

If I love something or someone, I am always willing to let it go. I believe in freedom in the sense that people deserve every opportunity to forge and travel their own paths and at the same time, face the consequences they find along their travels.

Photo by Julia Kuzenkov from Pexels

True love is detached, and whilst it is full of passion, base emotions like jealousy and possessiveness do not define it.

If that someone or something comes back to me, as conventional wisdom claims, they are mine, and if they don't, they never were. This claim is valid insofar as we are willing to admit we can own someone, albeit emotionally. Or, if we are honest about the need to reciprocate love, that others can hold us in the same manner. If someone leaves me, it is because they wanted to go, and whatever their reason for going may be, any one of those reasons implies that my value to them is less than optimal. They believed at the time of leaving me, that there was more out there for them. I respect the need to find more, to be more, and to have more. However, in my impetus to find the optimal state of love and happiness, I always afford the person from whom I am separating the balance of honesty. In short, I tell them that I am leaving because I need to find more.

As I said at the beginning of this simple writeup: if I love something, I always let it go. Still, as much as I believe in freedom, I am unwilling to wait for them to come back to me to prove that they were always mine. Waiting for someone who left to find happiness somewhere else - or away from me as this point may imply - would indicate a pathological attachment to the memory of that someone who left me. Waiting for someone who sought better circumstances without me would betray the self-respect necessary to live in harmony with all those I love.

Detachment as I see it is not about lack of love for others, something of which I have been accused before. On the contrary, it is about loving others enough to respect their need to find their optimal happiness circumstances.

Detachment, then, is about telling you that you are free to leave and return when that is the best option for you, and wishing that you can also respect my need to create my happiness as I see fit.

I must admit that I have not always respected this philosophy, but I am happy to see it clearly now.


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